Reality staring me in the face

So here I am, in a fully furnished apartment, but all by myself. No husband, no dog. And, for all intents and purposes, no TV — the cable was turned off Friday. I’ve managed to get our TV to get over the air reception of some basic channels, but that’s it — and I’ll only have that until the movers come and pack up the TV on Monday.

Anyway, even given that I still have all my stuff and a working TV, I’m really in a bad place emotionally. It’s lonely here.  And a bit depressing. And that worries me.

Because if it’s this lonely now, when I have furniture and my local channels, how much more is it going to suck in a couple of days when I won’t have anything but an air mattress and a camp chair? Right now, I’m stretched out on the couch. In a couple of days, all I’ll have is that air mattress — not very good for stretching out and relaxing. And I’ll have to do that for two weeks.

And even after I move out of this apartment into my sublet, I won’t have a couch, just a mattress on the floor. (At least it’ll be a mattress and not an air mattress. Yes, yes, silver lining.) Basically, I’m starting to get a glimpse of how uncomfortable the next six weeks are going to be. I am starting to see that, for all my bravery about all of this while we were planning it, I am not really prepared for the reality of it.

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