So today was my last day of maternity leave. (The weekend doesn’t count, since I wouldn’t be going to the office on Saturday or Sunday.)
I am both sad and excited about this. I am so, so sad to leave my little girl; I’m also looking forward to a couple of interesting projects that are lined up for me. I’m actually terrified of daycare drop off on Monday, and glad to have a workplace that I actually like to go to after I leave my baby with her caregiver.
I have a lot of feelings about going back to work — but not many thoughts, at least not ones I can articulate in words. The one thing I know is that I need to go back to work, not just because of finances but also for my own sanity. I’ve loved this time, but I don’t think I’d last long doing it full time. Still, the thought of anyone else taking care of my baby just wrenches my heart. It’s hard to be positive about my job — even a job I really do love — when there’s such a heavy trade off.